I have most of my base planning done for my wedding, so I'm feeling more accomplished as for right now. I have been conflicted as it comes to my father though. You see, I have my birth dad. He has half ass made an effort in my life. I have been much like an abused dog, who constantly begs for affection, when I shall never receive it. And there is my step dad, who has been there when my dad hasn't. He picked me up when I was depressed, force fed me when I wouldn't eat, and hugged me when I needed a person to hold me. I want him to be my father at my wedding. This is where my emotions are conflicted.. I don't want to invite my birth dad, because well.. I want it to be over I truly do. My heart can't take any more hurt by him, but if people post my wedding all over their facebook pages, he is bound to find out that I had my wedding with out him. How shitty am I? He pictured from the moment I was born dancing with me at my wedding day, and giving me away. How can I take that away from him not only take that from him, but completely exile him entirely. I don't think I could take telling him I simply don't want him there. How can I explain that to him when he sees the pictures and all of that. I am so mad! Why am I such a people pleaser. Argh!
I've also decided upon inviting my most favoritest family member of all my life. I hope he can come, because to be honest I thought I would marry him when I was little. Truly. It wouldn't be right if he wasn't there. And I've found out that a couple of unexpected people really want to come to my wedding. So I'm super excited about that.
I've also come to realize in all of this planning that, well.... I hate being cheezy. Like SUPeR HATE. Sweetest Love, Perfect together, Love is perfect, blah blah blah puke puke. I love weddings, but seriously, do we have to be so cutesy pootsy that i would vomit on the table? Jeez. Personalized wedding vows on how your love is better than other peoples love. Blech. Lets just ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Or not. I don't really care.. cause Yes I love grant, yes I wanna be happy. I just don't like plastering how romantic we are all over the world.. He and I have been together for a LONG LONG time, and we are far past the cheese all of the you are the light at the end of the tunnel. Jeez. For gods sake we are practically already married. We have a 3 year old daughter together, and we have tooting battles under the covers at night before we go to bed. We aren't afraid to be gross around each other, and I can go a few weeks without shaving my legs and he doesn't give a care at all!!! So yes.. we love each other, we expect that our life together will be filled with happy days and lots of weird moments together. I'm happy with that.. I just don't believe that our love is perfect, or sweet, or that happiness is in love. I believe that love is a part of your life that can make you happy, angry, or sad. That the imperfections are what strengthen a relationship, I can't believe that our life will be perfect.. because it won't. I believe that as long as are together we would make an amazing unit of a person. Two people who will take care of our children amazingly and two people who will take care of one another when we get old.
That's all.
At least you've got a realistic outlook on marriage. We went with standard vows and I don't think anyone cared. As for your dad situation. I have a friend who was in a similar boat and she asked her stepfather to give her away and invited her dad to the wedding but gave him a heads up that he was there as a guest, not part of the wedding party. It was then up to him whether or not he would come. She did do 2 father/daughter dances though. It worked out OK for her but I think it all depends on your father's attitude. Honestly though, this is YOUR wedding and YOUR life and you need to do what feels right to YOU. :)
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